Ever feel like your gut is in the driver’s seat, and you’re just along for the ride?
When bloating, urgency, and random flares show up uninvited, it feels like your body has its own agenda. The more it surprises you, the more you find yourself scanning every sensation, waiting for the next warning sign. It’s exhausting and it can feel impossible to know what’s normal and what’s not.

If you live with IBS, this is all too common. Your body has taught you to be cautious. You’re not broken; your body is just trying to protect you. But this constant high alert can lead to anxiety and cause you to react to gut sensations from a place of fear, instead of responding from a place of clarity.

The difference matters. Learning to respond rather than react can ease anxiety, support digestion and transform your relationship with your gut from one of frustration to one of compassion and care. When you get this right, you’re no longer at the mercy of your symptoms. You’re in charge of your gut, instead of your gut being in charge of you.

When Every Sensation Feels Like a Signal

Most people get the occasional headache, feel sluggish after poor sleep or have a random stomach ache here and there. They usually don’t overthink it; they just move on.

But when you live with IBS, every sensation in your gut can feel loaded. Because symptoms have been unpredictable or distressing in the past, it’s understandable to feel constantly on guard. This can lead to body hypervigilance, where every gurgle, cramp or change in digestion feels like a potential crisis.

What’s important to remember is that not every symptom means something is wrong, nor will every symptom escalate.

• Sometimes, sensations don’t intensify.
• Sometimes, they pass on their own.
• And often, the worry about the symptom is worse than the symptom itself.

Importantly, even if a sensation does develop into a flare, responding thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively can help reduce its severity and duration, giving you greater control over your IBS.

From theory to practice

Let’s look at some real-world situations and see what responding looks like in real life:

Situation1: You Need the Toilet Urgently While Out

• Reaction:
  “This is humiliating. I shouldn’t have left the house. I’m not safe away from home.”
• Response:
  “This is uncomfortable, but I’ve managed before. I know where the bathroom is, and I can use some grounding tools to get through this.”

Why it matters: Avoidance can shrink your life. A calm response helps rebuild trust in your ability to cope, even on tough days.

Situation 2: You’re Offered a Questionable Food at a Social Event

• Reaction:
  “I can’t eat that. I’ll just avoid all food and hope no one notices.” 
• Response:
  “I’m not sure how that will sit with me, but I can choose to eat it, try a small portion or politely pass. I’ll do what feels right for me today.”

Why it matters: Social eating is part of life. Responding puts the power back in your hands and gives you flexibility and confidence without compromising your comfort.

Situation 3: You Wake Up with Gut Discomfort for No Obvious Reason

• Reaction:
  “What did I do wrong? I need to retrace everything I ate yesterday.”
• Response:
  “My gut feels off today. That happens sometimes. I’ll eat gently, support my body and avoid going into detective mode unless this becomes a pattern.”

Why it matters: Not every symptom has a cause and not every symptom needs solving. Sometimes your body just has an off day.

Name It to Tame It

One simple strategy to calm your nervous system is to name the sensation you’re experiencing. This helps activate the rational part of your brain and reduces emotional overwhelm.

Try saying out loud something like:
🔸 “I’m noticing some bloating in my belly.”
🔸 “There’s a bit of gurgling in my gut.”
🔸 “My stomach feels tight right now.”

You’re not ignoring or downplaying what you feel, you’re just meeting it with neutrality. That small shift can make a big difference.

Planning for “What Ifs” Can Reduce Fear

Sometimes, what makes symptoms scary isn’t the discomfort itself, it’s the uncertainty of what will happen. That’s why it can help to have a gentle plan for how you’ll manage if symptoms arise. For example:
🍃 “If I need a bathroom, I know where the nearest one is.”
🍃 “If I feel bloated, I’ll use a hot pack and go for a walk around the block”
🍃 “If I feel gassy, I’ll take some degas.”

Having a plan gives your brain a sense of control, which can lower the internal alarm system. It doesn’t mean you’re expecting the worst, it just means you know you’ll be okay if it happens.

The Bottom Line: You Have a Choice

The goal isn’t to eliminate all symptoms. The goal is to reduce the fear, urgency and pressure around them. IBS can be unpredictable, but your response doesn’t have to be. Every time you pause instead of panic, name instead of fear, respond instead of react, you’re building a new kind of safety in your body.

You may still have flares. You may still have bad days. But you’re no longer stuck in survival mode. And that shift, from high alert to inner steadiness, is what true control really looks like.

Want support putting these tools into practice?

Book a 1:1 appointment and we’ll work together to help you feel more confident, calm and in control, so your gut symptoms don’t have to rule your life.